❥ Day 6 : Hmm..

i remember once chatting with one of my high school bestie - siongkoon,
he introduced me this song. he said this song could make him cry.
okay. i listened to that song after that. liked it too.
what was in my mind that time is "woah..the melody is really nice".

i started printing the lyrics and the piano chords so that i could play on the piano. :)
he told me to try understandin' the lyrics. it's exactly how he felt at that moment. *when he had some problems* he said he can cry listening to that song. i told him : "aiks. don't cry la. don't be sad. everything will be fine." but in my mind..i was thinkin' *uihh? why can he cry to this song urh? that touching lyrics meh?*

today. like other typical tuesdays,
came home after my classes, leave my things in my room.
i'll normally go prepare my stuff and take a shower.
but didn't know what happened today, left my things then straight i went to my piano.

maybe my fingers are itchy la, haven't meet the piano keys for quite some time. :P
saw the lyrics and the chords of that song siongkoon intro-ed to me lying on my music stand.i played and sang to that song. and didn't know why..suddenly tears started shedding again.

here. this is the song. enjoy it. it's a really nice piece of music with great melodies and meaningful lyrics.

and my dear neneks. i know. you guys will be making noise asking why is it all in chinese. here you go ! i got the translations from some i dunno what website! *winks*

终于说出口 by 小宇

你终于说出口 其实你早就已经不爱我 为什么要低著头 你知道这玩笑骗不倒我 可是这不是玩笑 是要逃避你离开我的理由

我还能做什么你已经不爱我 我一直都爱著你难道这还不够 我还要做什么你才不离开我 我知道你已无心再继续看著我 一心想离开我

我终于也说出口 其实很爱你但从没认真说过 或许是我的错 多在乎你却只放在心中 不要问我为什么 因为爱你这就是我的理由
 

没什么需要被原谅 我笑得有些牵强 你知道我总是能够假装不难过 oh 不想看你那么累 多希望再给我机会 颤抖著我的手 握住的只是风

Finally, Said Out Loud by Xiao Yu

You finally said it out loud. You actually don't love me anymore. Why do you need to bow your head? You know this joke can't fool me. However, this isn't a joke. It is the evading of the reason why you left me.

There's nothing else i can do. You don't love me anymore. I've always loved you, Is that not enough? What more can I do, So that you won't leave me? I know that you have no intention to look at me anymore. Wholeheartedly, wanting to leave.

I've finally said it out loud too. I do really love you, but never seriously told you so. Well, maybe it's my fault for caring about you a lot, but only keeping it in my heart. Don't ask me why i'm keeping it to myself. Because I love you, that is my reason.

Nothing really that needs to be forgiven. My smile might seem a little forced. As you know, I can always pretend not to be suffering. I Don't want to see you so tired. Wishing to give me one more opportunity. what my quivering hands are holding on to now .. is WIND.

koon. i dunno if you'll read this. now. i know why you'll cry. and now. I don't only think that this song has a nice melodies .. but also .. very very meaningful lyrics. cuz yeah. i cried. i guess i can so-called feel the song. sigh.

sometimes. i rather be blind and deaf.

so that i could get things off my mind.
lots and lots of people will come tellin' me
"jes !! i saw him here la..there la..!!"
"jes !! he's there wye !!"

like today.

*while eatin' at pizza hut*

zaza: Jes ! You know ah ! I met him !
me: hur ? him ?  which him ? *being ss* there are so many him-s in my life woh ! hahaha
zaza: him la jes ! nick la ! 

me: ... oh. why ah?
zaza: no lah..him being random lah @ my P.Islam class ! 

me: !@#$%^&* he forever 1 lahh !! screw him la !!
zaza x2, sasha: jes .. chill lah. are you okay ?? what happened?? why so pissed off la?
lynn: *lynn being lynn* No guys ! She's Not Okay !
me : #$%^&* i'm fine !! just screw him la !!

and again

*waitin' outside C209 for our human comm class. for there's a class goin on in there.*

sasha: jes jes jes !! i saw that dude !!
me: dude? what dude? who? where?

sasha: this one dude la! wearing red. in c209 !!

me: huh? what wearing red dude la?
sasha: your ex dude la sayang.  he's in that class la.

me: !@#$%^&* so? alar. screw it la! can't see la ! didn't wear specs!

sorry people. mind me for acting that way. sometimes i can't help it. >.< whenever i think about stuff, i'll still cry ! yes !  i may look like i'm okay. i may look like i'm damn fine. i can smile all the way. laugh all the way. when you people around me talkin' about him. i may look like i'm hating the shit out of him ! i may look i'm darn pissed at him ! sorry guys. at some points, i can really be a good pretender. and you might get to know from EVERYONE that i'm quite close with whoever. but..hey..they are just being a friend. be there for me when i'm down. when i need them most.
if you're jealous. thanks a lot. i'm glad and i appreciate that. but it's okay even if you're not. do whatever that makes you happy k? 

after so many days. God dammit ! = = yeah. i still miss him and i really hate that !
you asked me not to cry anymore. you think i can ? 

people. don't ask me "jes..are you okay?" "jes..don't cry please".
just let me be. i'll be fine after cryin'. k? please. i'll be okay. 

thanks all of you guys a lot for being there for me when i needed accompany and support most. :)
parents..sis..friends..everyone! :) 

Holy! Didn't know i've blabbed so much ady ! >.<
sorry for torturing your eyes yeah people. *if you guys actually read everything la :p*
a lot to say actually, but. yeah. i'm tired. needa rest ! :)
blog another day ! mwah ! 

peace out !